How to Speak and Get What You Want w/ Chad Kirby | Ep. 07 - The Success Blueprint

When people talk about success, they usually focus on strategy, effort, or timing. In this episode of The Success Blueprint Podcast, Jason Grider and Morgan Peterson sit down with Chad Kirby to make the case that something even more foundational sits underneath all of it: communication.

Chad is the author of Speak and Get What You Want, host of the Speak & Get What You Want podcast, and a mentor who has spent years helping people communicate more clearly in business and in life. You can also learn more about Chad and his work directly at SpeakAndGetWhatYouWant.com. In this conversation, he explains why the words you speak to yourself matter just as much as the words you say out loud to other people. If your internal dialogue is filled with doubt, fear, or self-imposed limitations, it becomes almost impossible to show up with confidence on the outside.

One of the strongest ideas in this episode is that many people are living below their potential because they are afraid to declare what they actually want. They set vague goals, soften their language, and leave themselves room to back away when things get uncomfortable. Chad argues that real change begins when you get clear, speak definitively, and stop treating your future like a wish. That kind of mindset matters whether you are building a business, growing a team, or exploring your next move in East Idaho real estate through resources like Buying in East Idaho or Selling Your Home.

The conversation also explores how high performers move on from mistakes quickly. Chad shares examples from business, sales, and elite athletics to show that top performers are not perfect. They are simply better at recovering. Instead of replaying failures over and over, they reset fast, stay focused, and keep going. That mindset matters in every business, but especially in real estate, where rejection, setbacks, and uncertainty come with the territory.

Another major takeaway is the importance of the people around you. Chad explains that you cannot expect your mindset to grow if you are constantly surrounded by people who reinforce comfort, mediocrity, or small thinking. If you want to raise your standards, you need to be intentional about who you learn from, who you listen to, and who gets access to your time and energy. That message fits especially well for agents who are serious about growth and are exploring opportunities like joining the Grider & Peterson team.

Self-awareness is a recurring theme throughout the episode. Chad points to it as one of the most important traits of high performers because it helps you recognize limiting beliefs before they take over. Once you know what is holding you back, you can shift your language, adjust your environment, and start taking more intentional action. For anyone who wants to have a conversation about growth, business, or real estate in East Idaho, the team also makes it easy to connect directly here.

Whether you are an entrepreneur, agent, investor, or someone who knows you are capable of more, this episode is packed with practical insight. It is a conversation about communication, but it is really about ownership - owning your thoughts, your language, your growth, and the future you want to build.

Topics Covered in This Episode

• Why communication is a blueprint for success
• Lessons Chad learned from leaders like Simon Sinek and Dave Ramsey
• How internal dialogue shapes confidence and performance
• Why people let limiting beliefs hold them back
• The power of asking without being afraid of hearing no
• Negotiation lessons and the danger of discounting yourself
• Why top performers move on from mistakes faster
• The role self-awareness plays in long-term success
• Why your support system matters more than most people realize
• Declaring your future instead of casually hoping for it
• Striving for excellence without slipping into victim mentality
• How clarity helps the right people and opportunities show up

Clean Transcript

Morgan: Welcome back to The Success Blueprint podcast. I’m here with my business partner Jason Grider and my good friend Chad Kirby. Chad has his own podcast, Speak and Get What You Want, and he is also the author of the book by the same name. Chad, welcome.

Chad: It’s great to be here. I love your podcast because it proves there are certain things you do that lead to success. Learning the blueprint from experts like you is awesome. Morgan, I’ve told you before, but you’re the one who inspired me, encouraged me, and mentored me to get my own podcast going.

Morgan: I appreciate that.

Chad: Absolutely. When you spend time with Morgan and Jason, you realize how much wisdom and knowledge they have. There are people in real estate who are thirsty to get better, and when you have knowledge that can help people improve, you need to share it. That’s why I told you that you had to do this podcast.

Jason: We love the idea of a success blueprint because there are a lot of different ways to become successful, but there are also a lot of common threads. Bringing people on from different backgrounds has been life-changing for us too. We were excited to have you here because after you came to our team meeting last week, everybody walked away asking, “How do we get more of Chad?”

Chad: I appreciate that. What stands out to me about both of you is that you’re willing to share what you have with other people. A lot of people sit back frustrated, wondering why they are not more successful. The challenge is that high performers often struggle to explain what they do naturally. It’s like asking Michael Jordan to coach you and him saying, “Just score.” What’s brilliant about the two of you is that you’ve figured out how to teach people the steps instead of just expecting them to somehow know.

Morgan: That’s what excites me too - helping other people when they really want to learn and become more.

Chad: Exactly. In the book we talk about how everyone’s favorite subject is themselves. Morgan, one of the first things I noticed about you is that you wanted Jason to succeed. Jason would say the same about you. If people go into real estate or investing asking, “How do I help other people succeed?” it changes everything.

Jason: Let’s go back a little. When did Speak and Get What You Want really start for you?

Chad: Probably 20 years ago, maybe a little longer. I had the chance to spend time with people I admired - Simon Sinek, Dave Ramsey, Ryan Deiss, and others. I watched how they interacted with people, not just from the stage but behind the scenes too. What impacted me most was that they were focused on helping other people succeed. That’s what drew people to them. I started collecting what I learned, organizing it in a way people could actually use, and eventually that became the book and the podcast.

Jason: To be around those kinds of people, you obviously had already had success yourself. What led to those rooms?

Chad: I had some success personally that opened those doors, and I was teaching others how to be successful. But even in successful seasons, you have to stay in learning mode. That’s something I see in you two as well. You’re always learning.

Morgan: Tell us about TK.

Chad: TK is the co-author of the book with me. He’s always learning too. He spends a lot of time in multifamily real estate now, buying and building apartment projects, and he has gone out and found mentors in that space.

Jason: How did your relationship with TK begin?

Chad: I was speaking at an event, and TK came up to me afterward and basically said, “I need you.” At the time I was head of sales for a software company and I was teaching some of the ideas I had learned over time. He applied what I was teaching, got results, and came back saying, “I did exactly what you said and it worked.” From there we started working together, refining the ideas, teaching them to others, and eventually writing the book.

Jason: And he’s using those principles today?

Chad: All the time. Last night at dinner he was telling me how those same principles are helping him close an $80 million apartment deal. That’s the point - we don’t teach for the sake of teaching. We teach things that actually work in the real world.

Morgan: Your podcast focuses on communication. Tell us about that.

Chad: Success really comes down to how you communicate. First, how you communicate with yourself. That’s especially important in real estate because you hear “no” all the time. For some reason, as adults, we take it so personally. When you were a kid and you got told no before dinner, you moved on. But as adults, someone says no and suddenly you feel dumb, embarrassed, or like a failure. That’s a communication problem happening inside your own mind.

Jason: That’s huge.

Chad: It changes everything. If you can fix the words you say to yourself, it changes the way you show up everywhere else. I tell myself every day, “I create my future.” That matters. You have the opportunity to become what you want to become, but you cannot buy into defeat.

Morgan: You’ve got stories about hearing no. Give us one.

Chad: Years ago, we were trying to raise money for a business. We needed half a million dollars, but I believed we really needed $750,000. The people I was with told me not to push it. We went into the room, and I asked for $750,000 anyway. They said no - but we still walked out with $600,000. The point is, when they said no, I didn’t make it mean I was a failure. I just asked, “How do we make this work?”

Jason: That’s powerful.

Chad: We assume other people have it all figured out. So if they say no, we think they must be right and we must be wrong. That’s just not true. We take things personally when they often aren’t personal at all.

Chad: I had another moment like that when I went to buy tires for my daughter’s 4Runner. In my mind, I was bracing for a huge bill. The salesperson gave me a price, then immediately started lowering it - negotiating against himself - while I was still processing. It reminded me how often we do that to ourselves. We discount ourselves before anyone else even has the chance.

Morgan: Real estate agents do that all the time.

Chad: Exactly. We tell ourselves someone else has been doing this longer, or they’re more qualified, so we are somehow less than. That inner language is destructive. The most successful people I know do not let it live in their heads for long.

Jason: You mentioned a study on top performers.

Chad: Yes. There was a study on elite tennis players. What separated the very top performers from the rest wasn’t nutrition, coaching, or training. It was how quickly they moved on from mistakes. The top performers would hit a bad serve, reset, and say, “I’ll get the next one.” Others stayed stuck replaying the mistake. That matters in sports, in business, and definitely in real estate.

Morgan: You work with law firms too, right?

Chad: I do, along with a number of other businesses. What’s funny is the problems are often the same no matter the industry. I once took TK with me to speak to a group of lawyers from very prestigious schools. He was nervous at first, thinking they were all smarter than he was. But after one day he realized they had the same business problems he had dealt with, and suddenly they were turning to him for answers. That’s a great reminder that the core challenges are often more similar than people think.

Jason: Recruiting is one of those big challenges.

Chad: Definitely. A lot of companies struggle to recruit the right people because they do not have the right message. People need to clearly see how they win by joining your organization. If they can see that, loyalty follows.

Morgan: That’s how we talk about our team too. We’re the vehicle. We’re the guard rails. We’re the bumpers on the bowling lane. You still have to throw the ball, but we’re there to help keep you in the game.

Chad: And that’s why support systems matter so much. People look at successful agents, investors, or entrepreneurs and think they did it alone. Nobody does. Everybody has a support system. The real question is whether your current support system is helping you get where you want to go.

Jason: A lot of people think success just happens. They think some people are just lucky. How do you help shift that mindset?

Chad: If someone really wants to upgrade their mindset, they have to upgrade the people around them. You can read books, listen to podcasts, and consume all kinds of good content, but if you spend your time with people who reinforce small thinking, you undo all of it. You become the sum total of the people you spend the most time with.

Morgan: That one is huge.

Chad: It is. Even for me. One day I was frustrated that one of our businesses was not moving fast enough. I came upstairs and said that exact phrase out loud. My wife looked at me and said, “Say it one more time and it’ll become reality.” She was right. I was speaking failure into the situation instead of speaking growth into it.

Jason: That’s so good.

Chad: It takes the right people around you to challenge your language and your thinking. It’s easy to hang out with people who make you feel comfortable in mediocrity. It’s harder to spend time with people who stretch you. But growth lives there.

Morgan: I remember early in my career seeing another agent making a ton of money and thinking, “Yeah, I could do that.” Then another voice in my head said, “But you’re not.” That was one of those defining moments for me. You realize you have to control the limiting beliefs.

Chad: Exactly. And that’s where self-awareness comes in. There was a study on top CEOs in America, and the number one trait they had in common was self-awareness. Not hard work. Not background. Self-awareness. They knew where they needed help. They recognized blind spots. They were willing to get coached.

Jason: That makes sense.

Chad: You have to notice when those limiting beliefs are creeping in. Then you need people around you who help you break them. TK and I do that for each other constantly.

Chad: I had lunch yesterday with my nephew, who is in his early twenties and already incredibly successful in sales. I wanted to learn from him. The main thing he talked about was limiting beliefs and being selective about who he spends time with. That kind of intentionality at a young age is rare.

Morgan: That’s impressive.

Chad: It is. He is passionate about helping his team succeed, not just about making money himself. That mindset changes everything.

Jason: You’ve said we are always communicating, even nonverbally.

Chad: Always. Nonverbal communication is often more believable than verbal communication. Kids know this. If a parent says, “I’m fine,” but their face says otherwise, kids believe the face. In real estate, in sales, in investing - before you ever say a word, you are already communicating something.

Morgan: How do people become more intentional about finding better people to be around?

Chad: It starts with clarity. You have to know what you want. If you do not know where you are going, you will not know what kind of people you need around you. But once you get clear, the right people start to show up because now you know what to look for.

Jason: That makes me think of the way you suddenly notice a certain car everywhere after you buy one.

Chad: Exactly. Opportunities and people are often already there. Clarity helps you notice them.

Chad: Years ago, I quit teaching high school to go into insurance sales. I sold my wife on the dream by painting a big picture of where we were going. The very next month she told me she wanted to go to New York City and see the Rachel Ray show. I shut it down immediately because we had no money. A few weeks later she told me Rachel Ray’s team was flying us out to be guests on the show. Why? Because she was clear. She was not vague. She was not timid. She decided where she was going and acted like it was possible.

Morgan: That’s where your idea of declaration comes in.

Chad: Yes. People say, “That’s my dream,” or “That’s my goal,” but they stop short of declaring it. When you declare something, you put a different kind of weight behind it. It changes the way you think, speak, and act.

Jason: And when you miss the mark, you do not hang excuses on it.

Chad: Right. You burn the ships. You stop giving yourself easy exits. Most people are afraid to do that because they do not want to be uncomfortable. But if you are going to grow, you have to be willing to change the temperature.

Morgan: People tend to make what they think they need to make.

Chad: They do. A lot of people hit the number they need and then settle. But if you want to grow beyond status quo, you need to stretch yourself. You need people around you who help you think bigger. Someone once challenged me to raise my financial goal two and a half times higher than what I had originally set. That changed the way I thought. It wasn’t just about money. It was about possibility.

Morgan: And for people who say money doesn’t motivate them?

Chad: Then use your imagination differently. Think about the impact you want to have on your family, your team, your time, your life. Organizations are either growing or declining. They are not really staying still. The same is true for people.

Jason: Final question. What is one thing you teach your kids that feels like part of your own success blueprint?

Chad: I tell them to strive for excellence. I got that from my father-in-law, and I love it. Not perfection - excellence. It means putting in the effort. I cannot stand victim mentality. I struggle with that mindset of blaming luck, blaming circumstance, blaming other people. You have to ask yourself what effort you made today that actually moved you toward excellence.

Morgan: That connects right back to self-awareness.

Chad: It does. A lot of people confuse being busy with making progress. But being busy is not the same thing as doing what really moves the needle.

Jason: I’ve heard a mentor say that if your family followed you around all day at work, would you be proud of the way you worked? That kind of question forces self-awareness.

Chad: Exactly. Then you can be honest. Did I move closer to where I said I was going, or did I just stay busy?

Morgan: That’s a great place to land. Chad, thank you. I know this will be the first of many conversations with you. I appreciate your friendship, your mentorship, and the way you make me better every time I’m around you.

Jason: A few weeks ago Morgan literally said, “How do we spend more time with Chad?”

Chad: That’s kind of you. It’s great to be with both of you.

Morgan: Thanks, man.

Chad: Thank you.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does Chad Kirby say is the foundation of success?

Chad argues that success starts with communication. That includes how you communicate with other people, but even more importantly, how you communicate with yourself. If your internal dialogue is filled with fear, insecurity, or self-doubt, it will eventually show up in your actions, decisions, and results.

Why are limiting beliefs so dangerous in business and real estate?

Limiting beliefs cause people to discount themselves, hesitate when opportunities appear, and take rejection too personally. In real estate especially, Chad explains that hearing no is part of the process. The problem is not rejection itself - it is the meaning people attach to it. That is one reason the right environment and support system matter so much, whether someone is learning to buy, sell, invest, or build a real estate career.

What does Chad mean by declaring your future?

For Chad, a declaration is stronger than a casual goal. It means speaking clearly and intentionally about where you are going, even before you know every detail of how you will get there. That kind of clarity changes your mindset and helps you notice the people, opportunities, and actions that align with what you want. It is the difference between hoping and deciding.

How can someone improve their mindset according to this episode?

Chad says mindset improvement starts with self-awareness and the people around you. You have to recognize when limiting beliefs are creeping in, then intentionally spend more time with people who challenge you, stretch your thinking, and help you stay aligned with bigger goals. For anyone who wants to keep that conversation going, you can connect with Grider & Peterson here, explore career opportunities with the team, or browse more episodes on The Success Blueprint Podcast page.